Buying a computer :-)

[gaf at blu.org (Jerry Feldman)]

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . .



ABBOTT:      Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?



COSTELLO:  Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.



ABBOTT:      Mac?



COSTELLO:  No, the name's Lou.



ABBOTT:      Your computer?



COSTELLO:  I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.



ABBOTT:      Mac?



COSTELLO:  I told you, my name's Lou.



ABBOTT:      What about Windows?



COSTELLO:  Why? Will it get stuffy in here?



ABBOTT:      Do you want a computer with Windows?



COSTELLO:  I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?



ABBOTT:      Wallpaper.



COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.



ABBOTT:      Software for Windows?



COSTELLO:  No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?



ABBOTT:    Office.



COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?



ABBOTT:     I just did.



COSTELLO:  You just did what?



ABBOTT:      Recommend something.



COSTELLO:  You recommended something?



ABBOTT:      Yes.



COSTELLO:  For my office?



ABBOTT:      Yes.



COSTELLO:  OK,  what did you recommend for my office?



ABBOTT:      Office.



COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!



ABBOTT:      I recommend Office with Windows.



COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows!  OK, lets just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?



ABBOTT:      Word.



COSTELLO:  What word?



ABBOTT:      Word in Office.



COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.



ABBOTT:      The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?



ABBOTT:      The Word you get when you click the blue "W".



COSTELLO:  I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?



ABBOTT:      Yes, you want Real One.



COSTELLO:  Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
your
business. Just tell me what I need!



ABBOTT:      Real One.



COSTELLO:  If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
watch them?



ABBOTT:      Of course.



COSTELLO:  Great! With what?



ABBOTT:      Real One.



COSTELLO:  OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
do?



ABBOTT:      You click the blue "1".



COSTELLO:  I click the blue one what?



ABBOTT:      The blue "1".



COSTELLO:  Is that different from the blue w?



ABBOTT:      The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.



COSTELLO:  What word?



ABBOTT:      The Word in Office for Windows.



COSTELLO:  But there's three words in "office for windows"!



ABBOTT:      No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.



COSTELLO:  It is?



ABBOTT:      Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.



COSTELLO:  And that word is real one?



ABBOTT:      Real One has nothing to do with Word.  Real One isn't even
part
of Office.



COSTELLO:  STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?



ABBOTT:     Money.



COSTELLO:  That's right. What do you have?



ABBOTT:      Money.



COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?



ABBOTT:      It comes bundled with your computer



COSTELLO:  What's bundled with my computer?



ABBOTT:      Money.



COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?



ABBOTT:      Yes. No extra charge.



COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?



ABBOTT:      One copy.



COSTELLO:  Isn't it illegal to copy money?



ABBOTT:      Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.



COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?



ABBOTT:    Why not? THEY OWN IT!




A FEW DAYS LATER . .




ABBOTT:   Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?



COSTELLO:  How do I turn my computer off?



ABBOTT:   Click on "START"..........


-- 
Jerry Feldman <gaf at blu.org>
Boston Linux and Unix user group
http://www.blu.org PGP key id:C5061EA9
PGP Key fingerprint:053C 73EC 3AC1 5C44 3E14 9245 FB00 3ED5 C506 1EA9
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