Windows 2000 (Open Source) code [Joke fwd] (fwd)
Oommen Thomas
oommen at imaginetechnologies.com
Sat Apr 15 20:39:46 EDT 2000
~
>>
>>Microsoft is going the Sun way.
>>Here is the source code of Windows 2000
>>Subject: Windows 2000 source code
>>
>> #include win31.h
>> #include win95.h
>> #include win98.h
>> #include workst~1.h
>> #include evenmore.h
>> #include oldstuff.h
>> #include flightSimulator.h
>> #include billrulz.h
>> #include monopoly.h
>> #define INSTALL = HARD
>>
>> char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
>> void main()
>> {
>> while(!CRASHED)
>> {
>> display_copyright_message();
>> display_bill_rules_message();
>>
>> do_nothing_loop();
>> if (first_time_installation)
>> {
>>
>>
>>make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
>> do_nothing_loop();
>>
>>
>>totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
>>
>>
>>search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
>>
>>
>>make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
>> disable_Netscape();
>> disable_RealPlayer();
>> disable_Lotus_Products();
>>
>> hang_system();
>> }
>>
>> write_something(anything);
>> display_copyright_message();
>> do_nothing_loop();
>> do_some_stuff();
>>
>> if (still_not_crashed)
>> {
>>
>>
>>display_copyright_message();
>> do_nothing_loop();
>>
>>
>>basically_run_windows_3.1();
>> do_nothing_loop();
>> do_nothing_loop();
>> }
>> }
>>
>> if (detect_cache())
>> disable_cache();
>>
>> if (fast_cpu())
>> {
>> set_wait_states(lots);
>> set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
>>
>> set_mouse(action, jumpy);
>> set_mouse(reaction,
>>sometimes);
>> }
>>
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows 3.1); */
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows 3.11); */
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows 95); */
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows NT 3.0); */
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows 98); */
>> /* printf(Welcome to Windows NT 4.0); */
>> printf(Welcome to Windows 2000);
>>
>> if (system_ok())
>> crash(to_dos_prompt)
>> else
>> system_memory =
>>open(a:\swp0001.swp, O_CREATE);
>>
>> while(something)
>> {
>> sleep(5);
>> get_user_input();
>> sleep(5);
>> act_on_user_input();
>> if (userBored)
>>flightSimulator();
>> sleep(5);
>> }
>>
>> create_general_protection_fault();
>> }
>>
>>
>>
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