[Discuss] Looking for work

[srehrlich at gmail.com (Scott Ehrlich)]

On Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 3:52 PM, Daniel C. <dcrookston at gmail.com> wrote:
> On Tue, Jul 3, 2012 at 2:23 PM, Matt Shields <matt at mattshields.org> wrote:
>> It's not bad to talk about negative experiences, in fact good interviewers
>> ask you about these experiences.
>
> Agreed, with a caveat.  Negative experiences are going to happen -
> it's how you deal with them that counts.  In the OP's email he said
> that he still had a lot of negative *emotions* surrounding the event.
> It sounds like those emotions were coloring (probably in a big way)
> the way he talked about the experience.  Talking about something that
> invokes strong negative emotions will always be uncomfortable -
> especially if you just met the person.
>
>>  It's how you reacted and dealt with a negative situation that they want to
>> know.  If you acted poorly, then of course they may not consider you.  If
>> you found a way to deal with the negativity in a good way, then it's a good
>> thing.  Honestly I believe that negative situations if dealt with correctly
>> help you build up.
>
> Seconded.

I think, being in the computer field long enough, just about everyone
has had at least one really negative experience that they'd eventually
want or need to talk to someone about just to get it off their minds.

The important element, at least for an interview, in my mind, is how
_personal_ you make it.    If you turn it into a positive learning
experience, such as describing the scenario, not in a finger-pointing
light but simply make it general "through no fault of anyone - it just
happened as it did"..." and I'm still here to talk about it" I would
claim no finger pointing places the interviewee in a more positive
light, shows a tolerance level, shows you can play politics, and
likely won't turn anyone off by finger-pointing.

"It was their fault" is _always_ going to be one-sided from the angle
of the story-teller, and immediately places blame.    I would ask
myself if I wanted to interact much with someone who, during the
interview process, is willing to place blame.   I think it just looks
bad.

Now, if you _know_ it was your fault, it is up to you how you elect to
play that game - some people can do a masterful job and win over the
interviewer through good word selection and delivery method of the
story.

Scott

>
> -Dan
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